Last Update: 9-4-14
Marriage vs. Faith.
Can love conquer all?
In 3 parts:
Marriage, Man, & The Divine.
My faith has a marriage system based around the sharing of many things. But then I do not do Gods, and am just a Nature Worshipper. And Nature Worship is compatible with all faiths. Obviously. See waffles previous.
Pagan Marriage is a 1 year contract, and divorce is rather cheap. Obviously ( see waffles previous ).
But what about if a Pagan finds love with someone of another faith? Thatís where it can get a bit weird.
In Israel if a Jew & Palestinian find love ( Jew & Muslim obviously ) then that can happen. No-one has to renounce their faith, and everyone can live happily together. I believe because of the 'Children of Abraham' common-source theory. But... Due to the laws of man the Jewish person cannot bring his/her Palestinian spouse to Israel. If the Jew wants to stay in Israel he/she has to live apart from his/her husband/wife. So, even though love has found a way, man is not having it. The Jew has to abandon his/her homeland and live in a part of Palestine to be with his/her husband/wife. So Judaism isn't as perfect as some claim. Even though the women are empowered to near-equality there is still a problem in some Jewish circles.
And what if the Muslim person has a family that will only allow in a newcomer if they renounce their faith and convert to Islam? And what if there are brothers re-enforcing this rule? Sadly some Muslims are not very modern either. Acid is acid, and so are fists. A Muslim lass and her love may have to live in hiding in the more extreme cases. Even though love has found a way.
Us Pagans like our women empowered 9 times out of 10. But what if the family of the lass won't allow that? What if they see women as housewives and nothing more? Again we have a clash. Even though love has found a way.
Love is part of the divine ( a matter Spiritual ), and also part of nature ( Creation, to use Christian language ). As is the mixing of the genes ( we all know in-breeding really messes things up ). I would hope it obvious the laws of man have a habit of getting in the way of the divine & nature at times. And this can really throw a spanner in the works.
So could a Pagan date a...?
Not an easy subject. Some faiths, like Christianity and Islam, have factions that oppress women. Some Pagans do as well. So it does become a bit 'horses for courses' in that there will never be a true gelling of beliefs ( hence why these Faiths exist and are different to each other after all. Multiple factions, as there is a need for this due to how people all have different beliefs ).
Working on the principles of women being empowered and considered a vital part of the family, well, again this doesn't immediately solve much. Even the lowliest of housewives, locked in their home, are still important for making babies. But for the lass that is gonna be pretty dull 9 times out of 10. It's obviously not enough, although still a position of some power ( babies are important after all ).
I don't think there is an answer to this question in the general sense. It's not impossible for something to happen, due to how The Divine & Nature work; but would man let it happen is the big question?
As a Pagan I know my faith works, so why would I ditch it and turn to a god that does not work for me? Iím not talking about understanding, Iím talking about true belief ( which runs a lot deeper than understanding does ). Is faith all we are? Or is there more to us?
I believe there is more to us ( hence how love can find a way ), but many don't. They put faith above all else, and I think that's a mistake. Faith is but one tool in your toolbox for life. You can't fix a car or computer by preying after all. And when 2 factions clash being of a faith can actually hinder you ( if it's the wrong faith ).
I guess it comes down to the families involved. If the Pagan person has a family made of old-school Pagans they may well be VERY angry with the Pagan finding love with a Black Christian; due to the mixture of both race and faith happening, and how they do not approve of this happening. But...
If the parents are modernist Pagans then there should be no real pressure from the Pagan side to ditch the person you love. Wiccans and Hindus would probably get along quite well. Both have multiple gods in their pantheon after all. There may well be 2 names for the same god if you see what I mean. Like how ancient Roman and Greek gods are/were so strikingly similar. Christians technically have a trinity of gods ( 3 of ), and some may well understand that. So may well be able to reach out to Wiccans and not clash.
And what about Spiritual types? Could a godless person like me find love with someone who has a god? I guess it depends on how the other person works. I doubt I'll be embracing gods any time soon, but if the person I meet is smart enough that won't be a problem for them. I guess I don't know on this one. Man has so many different ways of doing things I think this subject cannot be covered just like that. It's obvious that the divine can find a way, and that nature approves of the mixing of bloods, but man is a different kettle of fish.
What's love got to do with it?
This is where it does get simple. If you're shacking up for fun or profit then there is no need for a deep connection. But this country has a 42% divorce rate, and that would suggest the olde ways ( woman reliant on man, and obeying etc etc ) are no longer working. Women can now earn a crust and survive on their own ( technically, housing prices do get in the way here ), so if a relationship fails people can walk away a lot more easily now. And Iíve seen plenty of miserable old couples, so I don't think it's a modern phenomena causing this divorce rate. I think people are wising up.
Obviously this argument relies on rents for a small home, and also the price of Divorce, being sane; which they clearly aren't at present; but that's another debate. In theory, these days, it's easier for a woman ( or man ) to walk away should things get bad.
In all honesty I think we're in a good place if this many relationships are failing. Seriously. We have a series of olde-fashioned views ( mostly Christian ) that create a huge amount of peer pressure to marry. It's simply where the biggest part of our community is people that are now retiring, so have had the reins for a VERY long time. They have been the dominant pack, so have been able to control the agenda. And they are all olde.
And for the Divorce Rate to be so high, well, it's obvious people are being shoved together by people ( peer pressure and bad education ); rather than being drawn together by love. Maybe this embarrassingly high divorce rate will shame these olde-fashioned idiots into changing their ways? So that people are free to choose more ( and as such choose better, rather than putting up with second or third best as that is all there is )?
Let's hope so. Community means nothing if the bahaviour of the community is harmful ( see waffles previous ). Unlike some I have no problem with women earning ( rather than staying home to look after the kids ). If the husband is an ass how will the lass get out? What if he has an abusive streak? This is why so many Pagans like their women empowered. It's more of a compliment if the lass chooses to be with you then. She doesn't need you, she wants you. So you aren't being used.
Consent is the big one. I've known few Pagans that would approve of Forced Arranged Marriage let's put it that way. But then we aren't Empire builders anymore. Well, most of us aren't anyway. The Far Right crowd ( the old school Neolithic ones ) may well interfere to break a relationship up ( opposing the mixing of race and/or faith ), but I have my doubts as to whether they'd use their son or daughter as a financial thing in the marriage game. Even the Neolithic Crowd aren't that bad.
Certainly food for thought. One size clearly does not fit all.